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because we are just starting…

Accountability is a two-way street…

February 20, 2020

Eduardo Glen Mora

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Once we begin our sober journey, many things change, and a lot of events happen due to our new behavior, recently built relationships, and acquired principles and values start molding this new version of human beings that we become.
With the good intention of making things better or create closer relationships with friends and especially family, we may fall into compromising too much trying to keep everybody happy. As it may work for some people and a little while, it can backfire by putting us in situations where we won’t be able to stay true to our values and ideas.
We need to remember that even if we harmed and hurt others in our addiction, letting people pull us to avoid conflict or uncomfortable experiences will never amend any wrong, neither will bring us spiritual growth.
Change means to stand our ground and make others accountable as well. When people think they can ignore their commitments to us just because of our past, we have to remind them that it is no longer us.

Comfort Zone

January 24, 2020

Eduardo Glen Mora

 

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It is easy to fall in the comfort zone in recovery. Life gets better, and serenity gives us a sense of safety we hadn’t experienced for a very long time. Without realizing, we stop paying attention to our slacking, and one day far from moving forward or with purpose, we are stuck and going nowhere.

We realize that we are isolating again and withdrawing from friends, family, we stop socializing and stop taking opportunities to improve professionally and personally.

Don’t get me wrong; life is good, but we are supposed to grow and keep ourselves busy as the only way to achieve that. It doesn’t mean we are going to relapse necessarily; it is not about getting pessimist or tragic, but if we look closer, we can find signs of us getting a bit too comfortable.

Many times we talk about opportunities in disguise or gifts that come after being uncomfortable or when in an environment, we dislike. This time I was given a chance to look into myself at the time of being of service. I took a job for a week to cover for a friend that wanted to take the time to visit his family. This kind of job I would generally refuse because of the long hours, stress, and low pay, but I said yes anyway.
After a week of brutal stress and hours serving customers that demand attention and service from dawn till almost midnight, my first impressions were that I had gotten screwed and slaved to death and that I would never, ever will accept any job like that in my life. There were so many things wrong and huge reasons to hate and complain about the job that I didn’t know where to begin when my wife asked me how it went.

After ranting for ever, just stating facts, her next question was: What did you learn? At this point, my mind stopped, and it opened to me a completely different perspective about the experience. I sighed and took a deep breath while I started to calm down. A feeling of accomplishment came and became a pleasant state of gratitude and even happiness. This is what I learned:

I learned that I love what I do. I learned that I can perform and provide with the best product and service to demanding customers, to big expectations and under high stress, long hours, and still be able to stay focus, on time and that all this provides me with inspiration to be creative and motivated. I learned that I am good at what I do and that it shows in my work and that people appreciate it and recognizes it.
I learned that I need to come out of my comfort zone if I want to grow, but most importantly that it is the way to enjoy and feel the passion for my craft and that it brings me joy and fulfillment.

I learned that I can get lost in complacency if I stop moving forward and jumping into new experiences and challenges. I learn that one day at a time still applies and not only in sobriety but in every one of my affairs.

Take risks, go out, and grow.

Starting Sober

January 2, 2020

Eduardo Glen Mora

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 For very long, we talked about changing our lifestyle, our ways, quitting, being done with the old. When people ask, we say I stopped using or drinking, and it always sounds like the end, the final. .

For the past four years, I have been learning from the mistakes I’ve made, I have accepted defeat from myself. I took responsibility for my actions and my selfishness. I am not trying but doing the next right thing and keeping my side of the street clean. All of this, I am doing for the first time in decades. So it certainly looks more like a beginning than anything else.

So, today, I look at this differently, as the greatest opportunity, as the best present I have given to myself. I started a life sober, clean. I begin a journey where my priorities are spiritual growth and search for bettering myself. It is the kickoff of a new life free from substances, codependency, toxicity, but most of all, it is SIMPLY STARTING SOBER

Keep working, continue in this new journey one step at a time. This is only the start of the best times of your life!

Eduardo Glen Mora

 

 

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The way to understand the expression: ¨living life to the fullest¨ has changed dramatically in the past two years. It is trying to be prudent and not to compare it from what it meant 3.8 years ago.
The madness and recklessness, the oblivion and, the self-centeredness, and self-inflicted suffering seem now absurd and surreal.

Sometimes, people we loved try to make contact. However, they keep some distance, avoid the face to face confrontation needed to make amends and the eventual healing. We can tell what is going on and feel the hurting because we have been there. But we have learned the hard way that sometimes we will not be able to deliver the message just because we are to close to the pain that caused the downfall.
It is useless to punish ourselves or harbor guilt; the healing will come if there are a time and will. We must stay apart and wish for good.

Let us comfort in the fact that, when someone accepts defeat and finds help, life changes exponentially. The gift of sobriety will provide new meaning, and living to the fullest will be in place.

Stay strong; from here, it only gets better.

Today

September 16, 2019

Eduardo Glen Mora

It changes, it evolves with us as we walk the path of recovery. The cravings and hopelessness disappear and they no longer make us worry. In their place, awareness and a clear thinking makes us notice our shortcomings and the moments when our behavior is not in check. When we walk outside the principles that took us back from the darkness of insanity. And that is enough to correct the direction; it shows us that our healing must be built as we journey in this new life one day at a time.

What we learn

August 8, 2019

Eduardo Glen Mora

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We learn about kindness and empathy. We turn our life to service and be present for the ones that seek for help. We work on being accountable and make Recovery our hottest commodity. Put our new life in order and keep our shortcomings in check. An yet, we fall short sometimes. Staying humble and with a clear mind doesn’t always come easy.

Our past was full of disappointment and selfishness to others. Hurt and manipulation were the norms, and people close to us suffered and were affected by it. It is hard for them to trust that we suddenly change and they expect to see the old ways coming back. In a way they are right, we can’t be perfect, and we will fail at some point, especially if our amends aren’t complete.
We are only human and can’t help that, but we have learned to stay aware of our faults and make an inventory to take back the right track.

Staying healthy is achieved by keeping in check of our bad moments; it means Personal Inventory and Rigorous Honesty.

Gifts of Life

June 5, 2019

Eduardo Glen Mora

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It is so hard, and it is emotional at the beginning. We enter in the survival mode right after the oblivion and denial we had been submerged in for very long. I used to think and say that, I was one of the people who always enjoyed being high or drunk. Many of the best stories and memories I built and the friendships I had, happened and were made in those days. The reality is that it all works until it doesn’t anymore; it is true that I had good moments but they just happened to be while I was using, and to be honest, they could have happened the same without it.

I was raised and educated in a culture of drinking as part of the good times; never knew or watched that happiness or reward could be enjoyed just the same without it. Alcohol was always there; there was never a time or place or event without it. I never had a reference to a different way of living life. And I believe this is the norm in the majority of our societies; we grow into these principles, and there are very few who doesn’t.

I have a daughter that just raised her college age; it is shocking that she is my youngest and my oldest is a grown adult. I have a few years in sobriety, but still, I am waking up to very harsh and raw realities. I can see that I passed through so many years of my life in the complete absence of what was going on. I know it is the past and there is nothing I can change about it; I have to accept that my only chance is to make living amends on those matters, and live today in honest sobriety so I can build a clean, reliable and stable relationship with the people I care and will share my life with.

I am aware that these, which I consider awakenings, are everyday happenings in life but; thanks to recovery, they are precious to me and keep me grateful, accepting the life gifts I receive.

I thank this journey for the privilege of the present.

Take a step back to get a wider view…

May 29, 2019

Eduardo Glen Mora

Sometimes people are caught up in their struggles or problems that they can’t listen. Something is bothering them and they just react instead of engaging. This makes us react as well and we may fall into their same attitude because just like others we also have issues and flaws that in stressful situations and har times come to the surface and make us act out.

It would be hard to avoid all situations like this or even have the right thinking to take a second and don’t engage in the same behaviors. That is why awareness of our own character defects help us to keep serene allowing us to step back and asses what is going on and try to make it better.

It is hard, and we will fail at times; it takes a lot of humility and self knowledge, a lot of work but it will make our relationships and life much easier.

Keeping our inventory and remembering where we come from will help us be the better person at difficult times.

Stay strong.

Live Sober

May 26, 2019

Eduardo Glen Mora

 

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Am I genuinely living sober? It is a simple but powerful question; it is thought-provoking. Makes my reflection about how I keep my recovery checked, how I am putting in action my program. As my addiction never leaves, and it is only its active side that it is an arrest, so my recovery needs to take action and practice its gratitude by helping others.

Many times, I just glide through sobriety and drift away from meetings or fellow alcoholics. It is reasonable since now I am wholeheartedly trying to restore and take back my life; however, I must not forget that there was always someone for me when I needed and I should do the same for the newcomers.

There are people I see following the path that nearly took my life and did so to others I knew, but I can’t do anything since it is about attraction and not by promotion that this program works. Recovery is changing my life, and I wish many others were able to be a part of it, sometimes it is sad and heartbreaking the feeling of not being able to share it. I can only wish for everybody to reach that moment of desperation that allowed me to accept I had a problem and seek help.

It is common to get caught in every day’s events, and distance from personal work but to be aware and go back on track can be done if we ask ourselves how truthfully we are living sober.

Keep taking one step at a time, it is worth it…

May 17, 2019

Eduardo Glen Mora

There is no amount of understanding, therapy, meetings or fellowship that can repair what is broken. We find the reasons in our upbringing, we learn about psychology and practice the tools others share. It makes sense, we actually understand what happens and accept what happened as well. We grow and get stronger. We make amends and try to fix what is possible. We become productive and find ways to cope with the death of friends, family and try every day to be better. We learn how to live without drinking and using and truly don’t miss it. It takes a lot of time and hard work to get there.

We keep present where we come from and embrace who we become. We try to stay humble and strong. We know that doesn’t only make sense but it is the right thing to do. We live to take care of our health and want to be there for the ones we love.

This is all very real and we truly want it and live for it. But we can’t change the very core of who we are, and we know this is inside us and alive. We choose to live and that is why we stay sober. It is a matter of life and death if we don’t. We know how much we will miss if we are gone and at the same time we don’t care. We would go back to get that feeling of being somewhere high, somewhere above everything, somewhere between reality and our imaginary world from broken children. That never goes, it remains there, in the back of our life and all the good we build. Yes, it is insane, it makes no sense, it is absurd and stupid. Why would we end all the wonders in our lives and change them for a moment in nowhere, for something that is nothing? However we do, we have gone there and will again just as easy.

Is it this madness just sadness? Why would we quit winning for loosing? Why would we choose darkness and silence instead of light and joy? I guess I will never know, it is a foolish bet, all the odds are against, it is clear and still, we would go back there in a second just because of feeling lonely.

Can’t explain it, and don’t really look for finding any whys. just keep taking one step at a time.

Stay strong, it is worth it.