May 12, 2020
Eduardo Glen Mora
To accept that we are looking at life with a narrow mind is not easy. It takes a lot of work, especially when we keep finding disappointment where we should be grateful. As kids, and when we are growing up, it is normal that in adverse situations to feel that life is unfair and we are alone against the world. We don’t have experience or enough tools to deal with these bumps in the road, but after years of learning and failures, we can’t use that excuse anymore.
Life struggles are something we cant personalize. When a person dear to us is going through illness, he or she is the one affected, not us. Compassion and love must go to this person since they are fighting to get better. We need to channel our energy positively, We need to send strength and love.
It is not easy. Long hours start causing stress and affect hope. We feel betrayed and alone. We want to see how our efforts help our loved one recover. It is sad to accept that they will not.
We have the tools to go through this and to understand that once more, we have no control over the situation. We need to humble ourselves and find acceptance and serenity in the fact that we are there for our loved one and that we tried our best.
Spiritual growth doesn’t come without hard work.
April 21, 2020
Eduardo Glen Mora
It is clear that in recovery, we start self-training to better ourselves. We seek serenity and find the awareness that brings us patience and humility.
We meditate and no matter how difficult the exercise of all these tools is for us, nor how bad or deficient we feel at times we are in their practice, in recent times, we realize the progress we have made is real as we can use this knowledge today.
There was no chance that I could be able to be responsible or manage to keep myself together in the current situation being my old self. And at the same time, I still see my shortcomings coming out when the stress and frustration build up I find myself as weak and poor of judgment as the old days.
¨Exactly, this is me, I will always be myself and I don’t need any alcohol or drugs to go back there.¨ It is our human condition and that is why we are on a journey looking for progress only; but progress every day, one day at a time.
We learned a lot, we know how to speak from the heart and sometimes may use our tools to manipulate again, to gain some leverage or simply to get what we want from others. This is very clear and shows us without a doubt that, we need to be aware that our disease is only arrested by our daily work. We can not stop walking the walk. We have to be sure about this.
Nobody is perfect or can be, in that, we are all the same. I appreciate the COVID-19 as one more teaching for my growth. I have the blessing of being able to work in the U.S. while in Mexico I had to close down the Restaurant. I can see and live both situations: looking like a possibility that my work of 20 years may disappear due to this pandemic and how losing everything will affect profoundly the future of my team as well.
It worries me not to be able to help them more.
On the other hand, I am grateful to have the chance to start from nothing and get back on my feet on this new life. It is a bittersweet position, painful for my limitations on one side and blessed by my opportunities on the other.
Hopefully, life will give us the wisdom and peace of mind to navigate through this and rebuild when we can go out back in the world. In a world that if we are lucky, will be better thanks to this experience.
¨But in the true sense of the word
Are we using what we’ve learned
In the true sense of the word
Are we losing what we were…¨ Jack Johnson
April 8, 2020
Eduardo Glen Mora
Suddenly, everything stopped! In the beginning, it was too far. It seemed like many other times when it all affects others but doesn’t get near us but, it did. It is all over the world, and it is true. This time is going to show us that we may have been wrong in our priorities. There is no certainty that it will be a date when it is under control, and besides, we don’t know how bad the effects and for how long after they will last in our every day lives.
There is a lot of thinking and wondering and pondering, and, at the same time, there is a strange fear that things will or not be back to normal. It is a devastating psychological effect. Is my business going to last? Will I have to re-invent myself and start all over from zero? Will I be able to take care of the people I love and help the people that are part of my team and depend on me? I honestly don’t have an answer. This outcome is not the way I imagined it was ever going to be. Fear starts creeping in and brings a lot of anxiety. One of my worst nightmares was to end up in the street and without the ability or worse, the time to fix it, to build something back up.
I think of how it is to me and, at the same time, know that everyone is going through this and many, are in more difficult situations than I am.
I know what is to be poor. I know what it is to be hungry. I know that those feelings are overwhelming and can paralyze a person, that desperation is sometimes a catalyst for growth but can also be a powerful ingredient for despair.
In the middle of all this, we are still dealing with our everyday lives. We had our projects and our problems. We are trying to take care of ourselves and others and navigate the storm.
I reached an age where it is definite and closer to my mortality, I realize that every moment is precious and that I wasted many. That nothing has any value in life unless you have someone to share it. I start understanding why my mother turns back to her religion and closer to the values he had abandoned. She grabs fiercely to all she learned when growing up.
I see the same with people I know and recognize that we are all the same. That people may live in totally different situations and cultures, with utterly diverse opportunities or disadvantages but, when we are all down of time and health, we fall in panic and run trying to find shelter and protection.
Today you can see the same fear in the poor that don’t know if they are going to be able to make money to feed their own and in the rich that realize the money they got is good for nothing. Both are captured in their homes, scared to death to go out. Nobody wants to die. No one knows how to fix this.
We want to help, but not everyone can find the way. We all have the light and the compassion but, our ego and selfishness drag us to our darkness. We are all pulled by these forces that our conscience battles all the time.
We have indeed misinterpreted the road to growth and ignored empathy. Our instincts and deliriums have seduced us and made us less human.
So, what is it? Today is the time, but what are we going to do? How do we get the acceptance and stay humble in our frailty and embrace that we are powerless? It is the most challenging moment of the life of the collective. I hope we can find the wisdom to go to the simplicity of our most basic soul and see that we need to start living within again.
Peace to all. Stay strong.
February 20, 2020
Eduardo Glen Mora
Once we begin our sober journey, many things change, and a lot of events happen due to our new behavior, recently built relationships, and acquired principles and values start molding this new version of human beings that we become.
With the good intention of making things better or create closer relationships with friends and especially family, we may fall into compromising too much trying to keep everybody happy. As it may work for some people and a little while, it can backfire by putting us in situations where we won’t be able to stay true to our values and ideas.
We need to remember that even if we harmed and hurt others in our addiction, letting people pull us to avoid conflict or uncomfortable experiences will never amend any wrong, neither will bring us spiritual growth.
Change means to stand our ground and make others accountable as well. When people think they can ignore their commitments to us just because of our past, we have to remind them that it is no longer us.
January 24, 2020
Eduardo Glen Mora
It is easy to fall in the comfort zone in recovery. Life gets better, and serenity gives us a sense of safety we hadn’t experienced for a very long time. Without realizing, we stop paying attention to our slacking, and one day far from moving forward or with purpose, we are stuck and going nowhere.
We realize that we are isolating again and withdrawing from friends, family, we stop socializing and stop taking opportunities to improve professionally and personally.
Don’t get me wrong; life is good, but we are supposed to grow and keep ourselves busy as the only way to achieve that. It doesn’t mean we are going to relapse necessarily; it is not about getting pessimist or tragic, but if we look closer, we can find signs of us getting a bit too comfortable.
Many times we talk about opportunities in disguise or gifts that come after being uncomfortable or when in an environment, we dislike. This time I was given a chance to look into myself at the time of being of service. I took a job for a week to cover for a friend that wanted to take the time to visit his family. This kind of job I would generally refuse because of the long hours, stress, and low pay, but I said yes anyway.
After a week of brutal stress and hours serving customers that demand attention and service from dawn till almost midnight, my first impressions were that I had gotten screwed and slaved to death and that I would never, ever will accept any job like that in my life. There were so many things wrong and huge reasons to hate and complain about the job that I didn’t know where to begin when my wife asked me how it went.
After ranting for ever, just stating facts, her next question was: What did you learn? At this point, my mind stopped, and it opened to me a completely different perspective about the experience. I sighed and took a deep breath while I started to calm down. A feeling of accomplishment came and became a pleasant state of gratitude and even happiness. This is what I learned:
I learned that I love what I do. I learned that I can perform and provide with the best product and service to demanding customers, to big expectations and under high stress, long hours, and still be able to stay focus, on time and that all this provides me with inspiration to be creative and motivated. I learned that I am good at what I do and that it shows in my work and that people appreciate it and recognizes it.
I learned that I need to come out of my comfort zone if I want to grow, but most importantly that it is the way to enjoy and feel the passion for my craft and that it brings me joy and fulfillment.
I learned that I can get lost in complacency if I stop moving forward and jumping into new experiences and challenges. I learn that one day at a time still applies and not only in sobriety but in every one of my affairs.
Take risks, go out, and grow.
January 2, 2020
Eduardo Glen Mora
For very long, we talked about changing our lifestyle, our ways, quitting, being done with the old. When people ask, we say I stopped using or drinking, and it always sounds like the end, the final. .
For the past four years, I have been learning from the mistakes I’ve made, I have accepted defeat from myself. I took responsibility for my actions and my selfishness. I am not trying but doing the next right thing and keeping my side of the street clean. All of this, I am doing for the first time in decades. So it certainly looks more like a beginning than anything else.
So, today, I look at this differently, as the greatest opportunity, as the best present I have given to myself. I started a life sober, clean. I begin a journey where my priorities are spiritual growth and search for bettering myself. It is the kickoff of a new life free from substances, codependency, toxicity, but most of all, it is SIMPLY STARTING SOBER
Keep working, continue in this new journey one step at a time. This is only the start of the best times of your life!
Eduardo Glen Mora
The way to understand the expression: ¨living life to the fullest¨ has changed dramatically in the past two years. It is trying to be prudent and not to compare it from what it meant 3.8 years ago.
The madness and recklessness, the oblivion and, the self-centeredness, and self-inflicted suffering seem now absurd and surreal.
Sometimes, people we loved try to make contact. However, they keep some distance, avoid the face to face confrontation needed to make amends and the eventual healing. We can tell what is going on and feel the hurting because we have been there. But we have learned the hard way that sometimes we will not be able to deliver the message just because we are to close to the pain that caused the downfall.
It is useless to punish ourselves or harbor guilt; the healing will come if there are a time and will. We must stay apart and wish for good.
Let us comfort in the fact that, when someone accepts defeat and finds help, life changes exponentially. The gift of sobriety will provide new meaning, and living to the fullest will be in place.
Stay strong; from here, it only gets better.
September 16, 2019
Eduardo Glen Mora
It changes, it evolves with us as we walk the path of recovery. The cravings and hopelessness disappear and they no longer make us worry. In their place, awareness and a clear thinking makes us notice our shortcomings and the moments when our behavior is not in check. When we walk outside the principles that took us back from the darkness of insanity. And that is enough to correct the direction; it shows us that our healing must be built as we journey in this new life one day at a time.
August 8, 2019
Eduardo Glen Mora
We learn about kindness and empathy. We turn our life to service and be present for the ones that seek for help. We work on being accountable and make Recovery our hottest commodity. Put our new life in order and keep our shortcomings in check. An yet, we fall short sometimes. Staying humble and with a clear mind doesn’t always come easy.
Our past was full of disappointment and selfishness to others. Hurt and manipulation were the norms, and people close to us suffered and were affected by it. It is hard for them to trust that we suddenly change and they expect to see the old ways coming back. In a way they are right, we can’t be perfect, and we will fail at some point, especially if our amends aren’t complete.
We are only human and can’t help that, but we have learned to stay aware of our faults and make an inventory to take back the right track.
Staying healthy is achieved by keeping in check of our bad moments; it means Personal Inventory and Rigorous Honesty.
June 5, 2019
Eduardo Glen Mora
It is so hard, and it is emotional at the beginning. We enter in the survival mode right after the oblivion and denial we had been submerged in for very long. I used to think and say that, I was one of the people who always enjoyed being high or drunk. Many of the best stories and memories I built and the friendships I had, happened and were made in those days. The reality is that it all works until it doesn’t anymore; it is true that I had good moments but they just happened to be while I was using, and to be honest, they could have happened the same without it.
I was raised and educated in a culture of drinking as part of the good times; never knew or watched that happiness or reward could be enjoyed just the same without it. Alcohol was always there; there was never a time or place or event without it. I never had a reference to a different way of living life. And I believe this is the norm in the majority of our societies; we grow into these principles, and there are very few who doesn’t.
I have a daughter that just raised her college age; it is shocking that she is my youngest and my oldest is a grown adult. I have a few years in sobriety, but still, I am waking up to very harsh and raw realities. I can see that I passed through so many years of my life in the complete absence of what was going on. I know it is the past and there is nothing I can change about it; I have to accept that my only chance is to make living amends on those matters, and live today in honest sobriety so I can build a clean, reliable and stable relationship with the people I care and will share my life with.
I am aware that these, which I consider awakenings, are everyday happenings in life but; thanks to recovery, they are precious to me and keep me grateful, accepting the life gifts I receive.
I thank this journey for the privilege of the present.