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ODAAT

October 3, 2020

Eduardo Glen Mora

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How many glasses slipped from my hand while I passed out alone in my apartment. All the memories from my last years drinking and using are very lonely. How is that in the search for brighter worlds I ended up in a sad and dark tiny place? In the search for happiness and success found sorrow and defeat. Here is when I utterly agree in the insanity of it all.
After the battle for sobriety, rebuilt comes slow and between setbacks and loss. In the journey of living sober, most people around see me in disbelief and very few with trust and encouragement,

It is easy to get confused and work searching to convince others of our change. This is dangerous because I will be disappointed and can fall back into my habits. This is a life I built for me and only me. Other appreciation is only a side reward of the main purpose which is to get my life back. Whether make amends is important if they result from this new life, they are not what will keep me sober.
After almost 5 years of sobriety, I could still find a moment when It won’t be hard to imagine myself drunk and high. Worst, enjoying it without a reason. I see then, that I am the same person and have to look around at my life and do the work I need to stay clean. This is a life that I build every day.
This reflection comes in a moment when I almost lost everything I built in the past 15 years. When I had finally achieved one more of my biggest dreams. A couple of months to turn 50 and with a great opportunity to grow professionally. It may be that to move on there must be some loss.

The fix is pretty basic: One Day At A Time.

Stay strong.

Never stop loving…

July 29, 2020

Eduardo Glen Mora

Our way to the light…

July 21, 2020

Eduardo Glen Mora

Darkness is the only path to light. It is not our wonderful gifts that make us closer to it.

It’s using our garbage to transform ourselves. This is the key that unlocks the door that opens to the Light…

Humble ourselves.

May 12, 2020

Eduardo Glen Mora

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To accept that we are looking at life with a narrow mind is not easy. It takes a lot of work, especially when we keep finding disappointment where we should be grateful. As kids, and when we are growing up, it is normal that in adverse situations to feel that life is unfair and we are alone against the world. We don’t have experience or enough tools to deal with these bumps in the road, but after years of learning and failures, we can’t use that excuse anymore.

Life struggles are something we cant personalize. When a person dear to us is going through illness, he or she is the one affected, not us. Compassion and love must go to this person since they are fighting to get better. We need to channel our energy positively, We need to send strength and love.

It is not easy. Long hours start causing stress and affect hope. We feel betrayed and alone. We want to see how our efforts help our loved one recover. It is sad to accept that they will not.

We have the tools to go through this and to understand that once more, we have no control over the situation. We need to humble ourselves and find acceptance and serenity in the fact that we are there for our loved one and that we tried our best.

Spiritual growth doesn’t come without hard work.

Hope, learning, acceptance…

April 21, 2020

Eduardo Glen Mora

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It is clear that in recovery, we start self-training to better ourselves. We seek serenity and find the awareness that brings us patience and humility.

We meditate and no matter how difficult the exercise of all these tools is for us, nor how bad or deficient we feel at times we are in their practice, in recent times, we realize the progress we have made is real as we can use this knowledge today.

There was no chance that I could be able to be responsible or manage to keep myself together in the current situation being my old self. And at the same time, I still see my shortcomings coming out when the stress and frustration build up I find myself as weak and poor of judgment as the old days.

¨Exactly, this is me, I will always be myself and I don’t need any alcohol or drugs to go back there.¨ It is our human condition and that is why we are on a journey looking for progress only; but progress every day, one day at a time.
We learned a lot, we know how to speak from the heart and sometimes may use our tools to manipulate again, to gain some leverage or simply to get what we want from others. This is very clear and shows us without a doubt that, we need to be aware that our disease is only arrested by our daily work. We can not stop walking the walk. We have to be sure about this.

Nobody is perfect or can be, in that, we are all the same. I appreciate the COVID-19 as one more teaching for my growth. I have the blessing of being able to work in the U.S. while in Mexico I had to close down the Restaurant. I can see and live both situations: looking like a possibility that my work of 20 years may disappear due to this pandemic and how losing everything will affect profoundly the future of my team as well.
It worries me not to be able to help them more.
On the other hand, I am grateful to have the chance to start from nothing and get back on my feet on this new life. It is a bittersweet position, painful for my limitations on one side and blessed by my opportunities on the other.

Hopefully, life will give us the wisdom and peace of mind to navigate through this and rebuild when we can go out back in the world. In a world that if we are lucky, will be better thanks to this experience.

¨But in the true sense of the word
Are we using what we’ve learned
In the true sense of the word
Are we losing what we were…¨ Jack Johnson

Life, Light and Darkness in the times of Corona

April 8, 2020

Eduardo Glen Mora

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Suddenly, everything stopped! In the beginning, it was too far. It seemed like many other times when it all affects others but doesn’t get near us but, it did. It is all over the world, and it is true. This time is going to show us that we may have been wrong in our priorities. There is no certainty that it will be a date when it is under control, and besides, we don’t know how bad the effects and for how long after they will last in our every day lives.

There is a lot of thinking and wondering and pondering, and, at the same time, there is a strange fear that things will or not be back to normal. It is a devastating psychological effect. Is my business going to last? Will I have to re-invent myself and start all over from zero? Will I be able to take care of the people I love and help the people that are part of my team and depend on me? I honestly don’t have an answer. This outcome is not the way I imagined it was ever going to be. Fear starts creeping in and brings a lot of anxiety. One of my worst nightmares was to end up in the street and without the ability or worse, the time to fix it, to build something back up.
I think of how it is to me and, at the same time, know that everyone is going through this and many, are in more difficult situations than I am.
I know what is to be poor. I know what it is to be hungry. I know that those feelings are overwhelming and can paralyze a person, that desperation is sometimes a catalyst for growth but can also be a powerful ingredient for despair.

In the middle of all this, we are still dealing with our everyday lives. We had our projects and our problems. We are trying to take care of ourselves and others and navigate the storm.

I reached an age where it is definite and closer to my mortality, I realize that every moment is precious and that I wasted many. That nothing has any value in life unless you have someone to share it. I start understanding why my mother turns back to her religion and closer to the values he had abandoned. She grabs fiercely to all she learned when growing up.

I see the same with people I know and recognize that we are all the same. That people may live in totally different situations and cultures, with utterly diverse opportunities or disadvantages but, when we are all down of time and health, we fall in panic and run trying to find shelter and protection.

Today you can see the same fear in the poor that don’t know if they are going to be able to make money to feed their own and in the rich that realize the money they got is good for nothing. Both are captured in their homes, scared to death to go out. Nobody wants to die. No one knows how to fix this.

We want to help, but not everyone can find the way. We all have the light and the compassion but, our ego and selfishness drag us to our darkness. We are all pulled by these forces that our conscience battles all the time.

We have indeed misinterpreted the road to growth and ignored empathy. Our instincts and deliriums have seduced us and made us less human.
So, what is it? Today is the time, but what are we going to do? How do we get the acceptance and stay humble in our frailty and embrace that we are powerless? It is the most challenging moment of the life of the collective. I hope we can find the wisdom to go to the simplicity of our most basic soul and see that we need to start living within again.

Peace to all. Stay strong.

Accountability is a two-way street…

February 20, 2020

Eduardo Glen Mora

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Once we begin our sober journey, many things change, and a lot of events happen due to our new behavior, recently built relationships, and acquired principles and values start molding this new version of human beings that we become.
With the good intention of making things better or create closer relationships with friends and especially family, we may fall into compromising too much trying to keep everybody happy. As it may work for some people and a little while, it can backfire by putting us in situations where we won’t be able to stay true to our values and ideas.
We need to remember that even if we harmed and hurt others in our addiction, letting people pull us to avoid conflict or uncomfortable experiences will never amend any wrong, neither will bring us spiritual growth.
Change means to stand our ground and make others accountable as well. When people think they can ignore their commitments to us just because of our past, we have to remind them that it is no longer us.

Comfort Zone

January 24, 2020

Eduardo Glen Mora

 

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It is easy to fall in the comfort zone in recovery. Life gets better, and serenity gives us a sense of safety we hadn’t experienced for a very long time. Without realizing, we stop paying attention to our slacking, and one day far from moving forward or with purpose, we are stuck and going nowhere.

We realize that we are isolating again and withdrawing from friends, family, we stop socializing and stop taking opportunities to improve professionally and personally.

Don’t get me wrong; life is good, but we are supposed to grow and keep ourselves busy as the only way to achieve that. It doesn’t mean we are going to relapse necessarily; it is not about getting pessimist or tragic, but if we look closer, we can find signs of us getting a bit too comfortable.

Many times we talk about opportunities in disguise or gifts that come after being uncomfortable or when in an environment, we dislike. This time I was given a chance to look into myself at the time of being of service. I took a job for a week to cover for a friend that wanted to take the time to visit his family. This kind of job I would generally refuse because of the long hours, stress, and low pay, but I said yes anyway.
After a week of brutal stress and hours serving customers that demand attention and service from dawn till almost midnight, my first impressions were that I had gotten screwed and slaved to death and that I would never, ever will accept any job like that in my life. There were so many things wrong and huge reasons to hate and complain about the job that I didn’t know where to begin when my wife asked me how it went.

After ranting for ever, just stating facts, her next question was: What did you learn? At this point, my mind stopped, and it opened to me a completely different perspective about the experience. I sighed and took a deep breath while I started to calm down. A feeling of accomplishment came and became a pleasant state of gratitude and even happiness. This is what I learned:

I learned that I love what I do. I learned that I can perform and provide with the best product and service to demanding customers, to big expectations and under high stress, long hours, and still be able to stay focus, on time and that all this provides me with inspiration to be creative and motivated. I learned that I am good at what I do and that it shows in my work and that people appreciate it and recognizes it.
I learned that I need to come out of my comfort zone if I want to grow, but most importantly that it is the way to enjoy and feel the passion for my craft and that it brings me joy and fulfillment.

I learned that I can get lost in complacency if I stop moving forward and jumping into new experiences and challenges. I learn that one day at a time still applies and not only in sobriety but in every one of my affairs.

Take risks, go out, and grow.

Starting Sober

January 2, 2020

Eduardo Glen Mora

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 For very long, we talked about changing our lifestyle, our ways, quitting, being done with the old. When people ask, we say I stopped using or drinking, and it always sounds like the end, the final. .

For the past four years, I have been learning from the mistakes I’ve made, I have accepted defeat from myself. I took responsibility for my actions and my selfishness. I am not trying but doing the next right thing and keeping my side of the street clean. All of this, I am doing for the first time in decades. So it certainly looks more like a beginning than anything else.

So, today, I look at this differently, as the greatest opportunity, as the best present I have given to myself. I started a life sober, clean. I begin a journey where my priorities are spiritual growth and search for bettering myself. It is the kickoff of a new life free from substances, codependency, toxicity, but most of all, it is SIMPLY STARTING SOBER

Keep working, continue in this new journey one step at a time. This is only the start of the best times of your life!

Eduardo Glen Mora

 

 

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The way to understand the expression: ¨living life to the fullest¨ has changed dramatically in the past two years. It is trying to be prudent and not to compare it from what it meant 3.8 years ago.
The madness and recklessness, the oblivion and, the self-centeredness, and self-inflicted suffering seem now absurd and surreal.

Sometimes, people we loved try to make contact. However, they keep some distance, avoid the face to face confrontation needed to make amends and the eventual healing. We can tell what is going on and feel the hurting because we have been there. But we have learned the hard way that sometimes we will not be able to deliver the message just because we are to close to the pain that caused the downfall.
It is useless to punish ourselves or harbor guilt; the healing will come if there are a time and will. We must stay apart and wish for good.

Let us comfort in the fact that, when someone accepts defeat and finds help, life changes exponentially. The gift of sobriety will provide new meaning, and living to the fullest will be in place.

Stay strong; from here, it only gets better.