What have I learned and what is my life like today after 1087 days in sobriety? I have gone through many changes. From being afraid of having a drink and counting minute by minute begging to be able to stay sober for one more hour until I attend a meeting. When the most significant victory of a day would be to go to bed sober. To almost not thinking about the subject but to be aware who I am and where do I come from.

It has been a lot of learning, and it has been hard to find that most of the life I was living was a lie. To realize that I had no friends and that the relationships and people that are important in my life were broken and away from me because of me. Everything changed a lot and kept on moving, bringing moments I never expected to live again. Sometimes I feel that I experience feelings for the first time and others, I get to comfort myself watching how lost moments of happiness and content come back and soothe my soul.

There are moments when I hurt from the reality of the things I lost and the people I let down and know it can’t be fixed. But there are other times that bring an unexpected feeling of gratitude when I see that there is a chance to make amends or restitution. All this granted by kindness from those we affected.

Most of the time, I live in the present without the heaviness of anxiety, guilt, fear, and depression. I have clarity and peace of mind when things are not easy or going as expected. I can deal and accept life in life terms. I am capable of keeping my ego in check and work with my character defects and try to be better.