June 5, 2019
Eduardo Glen Mora
It is so hard, and it is emotional at the beginning. We enter in the survival mode right after the oblivion and denial we had been submerged in for very long. I used to think and say that, I was one of the people who always enjoyed being high or drunk. Many of the best stories and memories I built and the friendships I had, happened and were made in those days. The reality is that it all works until it doesn’t anymore; it is true that I had good moments but they just happened to be while I was using, and to be honest, they could have happened the same without it.
I was raised and educated in a culture of drinking as part of the good times; never knew or watched that happiness or reward could be enjoyed just the same without it. Alcohol was always there; there was never a time or place or event without it. I never had a reference to a different way of living life. And I believe this is the norm in the majority of our societies; we grow into these principles, and there are very few who doesn’t.
I have a daughter that just raised her college age; it is shocking that she is my youngest and my oldest is a grown adult. I have a few years in sobriety, but still, I am waking up to very harsh and raw realities. I can see that I passed through so many years of my life in the complete absence of what was going on. I know it is the past and there is nothing I can change about it; I have to accept that my only chance is to make living amends on those matters, and live today in honest sobriety so I can build a clean, reliable and stable relationship with the people I care and will share my life with.
I am aware that these, which I consider awakenings, are everyday happenings in life but; thanks to recovery, they are precious to me and keep me grateful, accepting the life gifts I receive.
I thank this journey for the privilege of the present.