April 21, 2020
Eduardo Glen Mora
It is clear that in recovery, we start self-training to better ourselves. We seek serenity and find the awareness that brings us patience and humility.
We meditate and no matter how difficult the exercise of all these tools is for us, nor how bad or deficient we feel at times we are in their practice, in recent times, we realize the progress we have made is real as we can use this knowledge today.
There was no chance that I could be able to be responsible or manage to keep myself together in the current situation being my old self. And at the same time, I still see my shortcomings coming out when the stress and frustration build up I find myself as weak and poor of judgment as the old days.
¨Exactly, this is me, I will always be myself and I don’t need any alcohol or drugs to go back there.¨ It is our human condition and that is why we are on a journey looking for progress only; but progress every day, one day at a time.
We learned a lot, we know how to speak from the heart and sometimes may use our tools to manipulate again, to gain some leverage or simply to get what we want from others. This is very clear and shows us without a doubt that, we need to be aware that our disease is only arrested by our daily work. We can not stop walking the walk. We have to be sure about this.
Nobody is perfect or can be, in that, we are all the same. I appreciate the COVID-19 as one more teaching for my growth. I have the blessing of being able to work in the U.S. while in Mexico I had to close down the Restaurant. I can see and live both situations: looking like a possibility that my work of 20 years may disappear due to this pandemic and how losing everything will affect profoundly the future of my team as well.
It worries me not to be able to help them more.
On the other hand, I am grateful to have the chance to start from nothing and get back on my feet on this new life. It is a bittersweet position, painful for my limitations on one side and blessed by my opportunities on the other.
Hopefully, life will give us the wisdom and peace of mind to navigate through this and rebuild when we can go out back in the world. In a world that if we are lucky, will be better thanks to this experience.
¨But in the true sense of the word
Are we using what we’ve learned
In the true sense of the word
Are we losing what we were…¨ Jack Johnson